Making the Effort: Taking the Time

I love getting letters. I was appalled when the cost of stamps went up by such a large percentage earlier this year because I am sure it will result in fewer and fewer letters and cards being sent. Who can blame anybody for using e-mail or social networking sites to keep in touch rather than more traditional methods when the costs are so great?

It is certainly lovely to have been receiving so many pretty cards from friends and relatives, despite the cost of postage!  Not only that but the flowers and visits continued to arrive. Friends further afield would skype, phone and write.  Suddenly time was more important than anything else and the fact people were willing to spend their time with me was very humbling.

Around this time it also became clear to me that I should make the effort to spend my time wisely.  

There are some things I do not have the energy to do. Although I am registered with the local library to assist people who need help to use a computer, I do not feel able to undertake this duty just now. I am just too tired. Exhaustion is one of the most debilitating side effects of my treatment for me. However, I did feel able to attend the meeting of the poetry group the meets on the library.  I was thrilled t be able to do that. It allowed me to thank the poetry group for the lovely bouquet of flowers they sent me.

It was a special pleasure to join the group that day as renowned local poet, Gerry McGrath was reading some of his verse.  His website is gerrymcgrath.co.uk. One of his books A to B is reviewed at: https://bookreviewstoday.wordpress.com/2013/04/05/from-a-to-b-by-gerry-mcgrath/

Although I got tired easily and felt a bit tender after the surgery, it was important to me to meet with the group and join in usual social intercourse that did not revolve around me being sick.  I do not like being ill. I am sure most people would prefer to avoid ill health, if they could.

While I was at the library, I was able to pick up the book the library book group was reading that month.   It was Gardens of Water by Alan Drew.

I was equally thrilled when I felt well enough to go to the singing class that runs in the Community Centre. It was another way for me to meet and mingle with the people that I share this interest with too.  members of the group had taken the time to visit me and bring me flowers, so I was able to thank them for the lovely bouquet of flowers.  There is no doubt that making the effort to spend time with people and taking the time to share my interests with them made me feel better.

Valerie Penny

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Friends and Flowers

I have never believed anybody who claims to have hundreds of friends. Friends are a treasure to be valued high above rubies and true, loyal friends are a very rare commodity. It is when times get tough that you really realise who your friends are. After the operation, word of my breast cancer spread amongst those I know quickly. I was truly overcome by the kindness, love, affection and support shown to me. The cards, flowers and chocolates given to me were lovely. Even more overwhelming were the phone calls, texts and visits.

When all of a sudden frailty struck and I had to accept the possibility of my own mortality, it was rather nice to know that there are those who care.

I received many lovely cards too. The living room of the house was so finely decorated by all these lovely things that the flowers given to me by friends at my book group and the local poetry group were displayed in the bedroom window.

There was only one problem. My disease had been found early in a scan. I had not had any symptoms. I had never felt ill, indeed, I was not aware I was ill. So I felt completely unworthy of all the good wishes I was receiving. I felt like a complete fraud. .

My sister and brother-in-law even came drove across the country to have lunch with my husband and me. Both their cars were out of action so they had to hire a car to spend time with us. What dedication to duty! How generous and kind!  We met for lunch at The Rowan Tree Restaurant, Ardrossan, Scotland. Have a look st a review of that restaurant: https://hotelandrestaurantreviews.wordpress.com/2013/04/13/the-rowan-tree…ossan-scotland/It was a lovely lunch.

The Rowan Tree offers an excellent choice of food at very reasonable prices. My sister and brother-in-law joined my husband and me for Sunday Lunch. We had a choice of the Roast of Pork as well as the regular menu. Service was unobtrusive, the meal was freshly cooked and tasty and the coffee very smooth. I always enjoy a visit to The Rowan Tree Restaurant. This visit was no exception. 

So much kindness: it all seemed too much. I was amazed how even just going to lunch made me so bone achingly tired. Exhaustion makes me miserable, but the love of friends and family is wonderful.

Valerie Penny

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